Homesickness

[Kim]

Sanya Isilme
DFS Lavie - Earth II Orbit
November 16th 4566 Evening

 

Sanya stared out one of the observation windows into the endless expanse of stars. It felt like the evening cycle had started, her only time in recent memory on a planet was in the midst of combat. The sky then was suffocated by smoke and fire. She pulled her coat tighter around her and sighed. Silver eyes reflected back against the glass and she was reminded how alone she was. 

 

Perhaps, some of the isolation was accidental or maybe it was deliberate. Whichever the reason, she couldn’t deny the truth- she was alone. Her family - gone. Her ship - gone. She was a space born, the Alethea was her home and now it was just gone. Her memories of that last day were punctuated by pain and blood. She was a Shield that failed to stop the blow that possibly destroyed her ship. 

 

Her thoughts drifted to the screams and the.. Tearing. She shivered and her magic swelled up in reflex to shield her from remembered terror. Her gaze fell to the violet glow that covered her hands, “I wasn’t strong enough to save them,” she murmured bitterly. 

 

“It wasn’t your fault,” soothed the male voice of her digital assistant. “You know that.”

 

Sanya shook her head and let the energy fall back into the pit of her stomach. “I don’t even know when I am. I can’t be myself here, I don’t even know who I am any more.” 

 

“You haven’t stopped being you just because you were rescued. Wasn’t getting placed on the Security team and joining their Officers a step back to returning to purpose?”

 

“It was. But look at me. I’m talking to the specter of someone I loved. That I likely will never see again in this lifetime,” she chewed on her lower lip.

 

“Oh, so you designed me after him then. Wouldn’t it be better to make me different, so it doesn’t hurt so much?” 

 

“We were to be together until the Last Star died but all I can think of is that I escaped but he didn’t.”

 

“Have you talked to the Doctor or anyone else about this?”

 

“No. I’m afraid of what lies in wait for me in my memories. I feel that terror ripping into me and makes me hesitate. I was afraid of losing the shuttle crew so I reacted as I was trained too.”

 

“I don’t understand how your power works, my database is limited to how Gem Users use magic,” he lamented. 

 

“My heartstone and my life are intertwined. It reacts to my moods and my will, as the Gods allow. There is power enough to keep machinery running. Some of the others on the Alethea were more powerful, almost like the Embers and powered the ship proper.”